I have kept a journal for really as long as I can remember, so for me blogging was always about the writing, it’s therapeutic and a form of expression in so many ways. The topics are just something that really flowed naturally for me, but this really is more of a journal post… of which I hope to be doing more frequently.
Lately, I have been feeling extremely anxious, its nature in me to be proactive…I’m constantly looking ahead, planning my next project, big idea or trying to prepare for the future. In many ways I like this side of me, but I think lately it has lead to this all of a sudden anxiety I’ve been having. At 22, I think its natural to wonder where life is taking you. If you haven’t noticed by now I by no means have a conventional career, but it’s one i’m so proud of. One of my main goals in this life is to create something bigger than myself, I want to CREATE, light people up, I want to inspire others and constantly push myself to be the best version of myself. This december will be a year since I graduated from FSU and instead of looking back with pride, I have never felt more anxious or unsure of my future… but why? I worry daily about bills, saving money, if my business will be successful, opening another store, if that store will be successful, will I find my soulmate, will I have the big life I envision for myself, will I live up to my own expectations…blah, blah, blah. Now i’m rambling…but seriously the list could go on and on. I was talking with my sister this Saturday at lunch and we were talking about what she would name her “unborn” children haha. Trust me all girls do this… and I said can you please hurry up and have babies, I want another niece or nephew. She replied with, “not for a while, I want to enjoy being married.” When we were dating people wanted to know when we would get engaged, when we were engaged people wanted to know when we were getting married… now that we are married everyone wants to know when we will have kids, there’s always the expectation of what’s next. In some roundabout way this clicked with me.
Kasey: “Instead of always worrying about what’s next, or wishing away today…why not be thankful for the season of your life that you’re in now” Thinking to myself one day I will look back and wish I was there again. I spend so much of my time wishing for tomorrow, next week, or next year.
“Instead of stressing about another store location, celebrate the fact of a thriving one. A thriving growing business, what’s more of a testament that i’m doing things right than that.
With that, I can’t help but bring up the topic of faith. Why not have such a faith in the process of it all that instead of worrying about the future I relish in the present…knowing that life won’t just work itself out, but it will exceed my expectations. Have faith in whatever season you’re in at this time in your life.
I’m not an anxious person, I’m a confident person, secure of who I am and the idea that every step i’m taking now is one that will lead me to where I want to be.. and where i’m supposed to be.
Be thankful. Be present. Be proud of how far you’ve come and have faith in what is.